Question #7: On what occasion do you lie?

Let's define occasion and lie as according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary in the context of this question.

Occasion: Option 1: a favorable opportunity or circumstance Option 2a: a state of affairs that provides a ground or reason Option 2b: an occurrence or condition that brings something about

Lie: Option 1: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive Option 2: to create a false or misleading impression

On what occasion do you lie?

When someone asks me if everything is alright in reference to my mental state I tend to either omit or outright lie about what my mental state is. Throughout my childhood and into my adulthood I have felt that I need to be the strong one to never show any of the negative emotions that I may feel and to never let others worry about me. This stemmed from being walked on by other children or being pushed aside by adults that just didn't want to listen to what I had to say. Being pushed to the wayside by people is not the only reason why I lie about my mental state.

Ever since childhood, I have been fascinated by the performing arts and everything that comes with it. I loved being someone or something else. My favorite game was pretending as I wouldn't have to be myself during that time. This love of pretending pushed me towards getting involved in plays as soon as I could and putting on performances where I just wasn't myself. Hiding behind a mask to allow me to not confront the problems that I was experiencing during that time. Being someone else has always been easier for me, training has also made it to where I don't want to reveal what I am feeling.

I've been trained through extracurricular involvement and customer service jobs to always be smiling since as soon as I have entered either I have been told that I am in a fishbowl and that I need to be presentable at all times. This training has conditioned me to always be smiling in the public eye even when no one may know me or where I work or what I do. The only time this falters is when I let myself rest in the comfort of my own room where no one else sees me or when it has become too much and I falter out of exhaustion. Hiding what I am feeling has caused me to lose touch with who I am, from what I have seen in the way I interact with others and the way that I conduct myself.

I find it harder and harder to show what I am truly feeling as I don't want people to worry and I don't want people to find those weaknesses and break me down even further. Each time I say I am fine may not mean just that, it could mean a multitude of things and I have seen people hiding behind this phrase 'I am fine' and I hope in the future I can become more open with the people I interact with and let them know when 'I am fine' means more than just that.
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On what occasion do you lie?